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Luxury-Yacht

Age/Gender: 20, Male
Location: Albany, NY
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I AM FUCKING JIZZING GODZILLA BREATH RIGHT NOW

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Entry #17

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Luxury-Yacht

MWC Entry: Island Rough Draft V.3

Posted by Luxury-Yacht Jun. 9, 2009 @ 10:33 PM EDT

(Compare this with my previous news post if you want to compare the earlier version with this one's additions)

It's there.

The other Island with the beacon- I just know it's there.

The Council says I'm insane for thinking that there's another Island only about a mile away from ours. My friends and family tell me that it's not there while I'm looking right at it. It exists. I'm not crazy; they're all just in denial.

It just came out of the water one day. I was combing the beaches one morning for decorative shells that my wife may have liked for jewelry, and the Island came straight up out of the water. The beacon of Light shot through the surface before any land or vegetation was visible, reaching beyond the clouds. As the Island ascended, it looked like the Light was pulling the land from the bottom of the ocean. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I ran for my wife and brought her to see the new Island, but she said that there was no Island; there was only the sea that isolated our small island village from the rest of the world. I was stunned. That beacon should have been visible from miles away. I tried to convince her, but she only became frightened. I gave up trying to convince her and I ran into the village, gathering other people who would believe me and see what was plainly visible.
But no one else could see it.
They all looked, and none of them acknowledged the glaring Light and the way it went up into the heavens. "Surely, you do not see any island out in the water; you are only joking about it", they said. I would not lie and say I was only joking. I insisted that I was as serious as death. I know what I saw, and I swear upon every precious thing that ever has been or will be that the Island exists.

The beacon's Light was even more brilliant that night as I tried to sleep. "You're just tired", they said. "Get some rest", they said. But the Light from the beacon went straight through my closed eyelids. I did not sleep for 3 days before I collapsed of exhaustion. When I awoke, the first thing I saw was my wife's face, and behind her was the beacon. The Light appeared to be coming straight out of her skull, and I was soon fixated on the beacon, insisting that it was there. She touched my face with her hand, with a tear rolling down her bronze cheek. I grabbed her wrist, set it aside, and sat up to watch the Light while she quietly wept.

My wife took our child and left to live with her parents on the other side of the village. She thought that I would harm our child, our son- MY son, the son I raised with her. She somehow thought that she had the privilege to deny me my right to see my own child. She was terrified of me, and so was most of the village. I became an outcast, a mad rambler who talked only of the Island and the Light it emitted. People soon took the long way around the village just to avoid walking past my home.
My home soon fell into disrepair, as the harsh island weather demands that one constantly tend to their dwelling. I demolished the side of my house that faced the Island's Light. Even over the trees of the lush tropical vegetation that surrounded our village, the Light shone into the sky infinitely. I had no time to spend on something as trivial as home upkeep. I was far too busy trying to show other people what only I could see, rushing up to them in the road and pointing them in the direction of the Light. All of them denied seeing anything. They all struggled out of my grasp and stumbled away from me, confused and afraid. Soon, I was imprisoned by order of the Council.

They considered me a danger to the welfare of the rest of the island. The Council is nothing more than a group of elderly men from the village who think that their sheer age gives them the right to make law. As if knowledge and wisdom can be measured by wrinkles and boils and lost teeth. Any intelligent person could have seen that the only reason that the Council even existed was to give those old creatures a reason to lift their decrepit bodies from their beds and endure the relentless aches and pains that constantly wracked their crumbling bodies. The Council members could barely see twenty yards in front of their faces; how could they possibly tell me that the Island did not exist?
For my trial and hearing, I was brought to the village square and set in front of the Council as they stood behind a podium, and the rest of the village flanked the square on all sides, leaving me in the middle, all alone. Not even my wife came to join me as I stood there. I tried to show the Council proof of the Island and the Light, but of course, none could see it. Fools, all of them. Hopeless, ignorant fools. I was cast out of the village with only my clothes and a few belongings. No one wept. No one objected. No one opposed the ruling. They all just looked down and shook their heads, in pity and disappointment- disappointment in me for seeing what no one else could. I did not object. I decided that if no one else would admit that the Island was real, then I would be blessed to be the sole admirer of the Island. No one else would know my joy and fulfillment that came from the Island and the Light. I decided that I was not being punished, but rather, I was being rewarded for staying true to the Island. And my reward was being freed from the dark, hollow faces of the doubtful and simpleminded villagers. None of them were worthy of knowing the pristine wonder of the Island. I was the only one.

I made my new home on the edge of the island closest to the new Island, so that I could enjoy it even more. I made a small hut from logs, vines and broad leaves that faced the Light. For food, I caught crabs that come onto the shore. I ate them raw, so as not to waste valuable time that could be used to admire the Light.
With every passing day and night, the beacon became even more intoxicating. I longed to be one with the Light. I began carving images of the Island into my bare flesh and rubbing harsh sand into the wounds, causing raised, pronounced scars of the Island. The pain of the tearing flesh, when intermingled with the ecstasy of being closer to oneness with the Island, would cause my spine to shiver and my eyes to roll back as saliva slowly fell from my lazy grin into my unkempt beard.
My hut soon became more of a shrine than a dwelling. Etchings of the Island decorated the wooden supports, and the leaf canopy above had an oblong hole in it so that I could lean back in the hut and see the beacon while lying down. I collected anything that reminded me of the beacon- brightly colored shells, translucent rocks, the scales of Light-colored fish.

I wanted nothing more than to somehow reach the Island. I would have done literally anything to be there. I would sever any body part, murder any innocent, blaspheme any god, and defile any grave if it would get me closer to the Island. But I couldn't get there. I could barely swim. I attempted to make several rafts, but none of them lasted in the waters for more than a few moments before either sinking or breaking apart. As I fell from my rafts into the salty water, my eyes burned- not for the harshness of the water, but out of frustration that I could not physically reach the Island. I grew jealous of the fish in the sea, jealous that they could easily swim to the Island that I could not reach. I began catching fish in a net I made of vines and mutilating them in an envious rage. It simply was not fair. They squandered their ability to reach the Island while I languished on this repugnant, pitiful excuse for an islet. They mocked me by coming so close to the wretched shores I wasted my life on. If they didn't want to use their fins to get them to the Island (which would be the only logical use for fins), they were blemishes on the sea. Killing them was the only fair thing to do, fair to the Island that the fish foolishly chose not to live around. The fish were no better than the people in the village. They couldn't see the beauty of the Light, and that made them abominations.
I decided that if I could not reach the true Island, I would have to find some other way to satisfy my need to be accepted by the Island as a disciple, the lone acolyte of the heavenly Light. I soon began my newest project: to build a replica of the Island in my hut. I dug a deep "O" shape in the center of the sand, and raised the center pillar of sand higher than the foundation. I lined the hole with large leaves and finely packed soil, and filled it with water. The packed soil and vegetation minimized water loss. I gathered plants, small rocks, and anything else I could use to imitate the Island. After days of labor, I placed a large crystal in the center of my tiny Island, and to my surprise and immense joy, a tiny beacon of Light rose out of my replica. I had made a tiny Island, an Island all my own. I fell into ecstasy. My knees buckled and I fell to the sand, my entire body quaking and my dry tongue hanging out of my mouth until I lost consciousness.

From this point on, my life was devoted to the upkeep of my tiny Island. I constantly checked the water levels, repaired erosion, replaced dying vegetation and more. I constructed a large wall around my hut, blocking everything but my view of the true Island, to help keep anything from intruding on my shrine. Each day, I would take a thorn from the rough island vegetation and prick myself, dripping my blood into the water of my Island. I was closer to being one with the Island than ever before. As I grew more devoted to the tiny Island, I gradually gave it more of my blood. Eventually, I was slashing myself with shells nightly and letting blood into the water, making it a crimson hue. I can't even begin to communicate the feelings of ecstasy I felt while giving my blood to the Island. It was as if I had left my own body and all I could feel was bliss as my blood pooled into the little Island I had made.
Soon, birds began to visit me. They were from the Island, I'm positive. These birds were nothing like the ones on the island I lived on. The birds were translucent and emitted the same sort of Light as the Island's beacon. They flocked to me, and began to peck at my flesh. I offered myself to them graciously. They took small chunks of my flesh, and flew off towards the Light. I was even closer with the Island now. Nothing could stop me from coming even closer to joining with the Island.

One night, to my surprise, I heard my wife's voice. She was looking for me. I revealed myself, scarred, bloody and filthy to the point that my skin seemed to belong to a much darker species of human. When she saw me, she gasped and turned white. After a moment, she came to me, begging me to come to my senses and leave the Island and the beacon behind. I ignored her, and dragged her to my shrine. I pointed a shaking finger at my creation, and said "Look what I have made! An exact replica of the Island, beacon and all!" She stared blankly at my treasure, then turned to me and said that she saw no beacon or Island, but only a mound of dirt and leaves. "You are losing your mind!" she screamed. "You need to forget about that stupid Light that isn't real and come back to the way things were!" I grew furious.
"Do you not understand the beauty and perfection I have created?" I shouted.
"This is not beauty," she screamed, "this is driving you mad! And I must put an end to this!" With that, she stomped my beautiful replica of the most beautiful thing. I was consumed with rage.
I grabbed her by the throat, and pulled her closer to the wreckage of the tiny Island, holding her under the bloody water. She sputtered, choked and fought, but to no avail. I pulled her back by the hair, and took her to the shore. "Do you still not see the Island and the beacon, woman? Can you not tell that it is the most beautiful thing in all of creation?" She choked under my grasp on her throat. "I-I see it quite well now, love", she croaked. "You are right about everything, now please let me go".

She was lying to me. She saw nothing. She was only afraid of me. "You lie, woman, and you see nothing", I whispered into her ear. "And since you cannot see the most beautiful thing of all, you do not deserve to see anything". With that, I pressed my thumbs into her eye sockets, crushing her eyes into her skull. Her screams pierced the night, and I squeezed her trachea with both hands until I crushed it and she went limp. I threw her into the ocean, careful not to send her towards the Island. She did not deserve to witness such beauty, even in death.

As I returned to my hut to tend to my ruined shrine, I noticed that the night sky was becoming brighter. I turned around, and to my eternal joy, I saw the beacon of the Island expanding and becoming even brighter. It was changing from a vertical beacon into a blooming, all encompassing hemisphere of pure Light. I rushed out into the shallow water so that the Light would reach me more quickly. I spread my arms and extended my bloody hands as far as I could, ready to embrace the Light. Finally, it took me. I was bathed in the glory of the bright Island. The Light on my skin at once burned and soothed, sending my body's senses into utter confusion. I smiled through it all, knowing that I was finally one with the Light.

I could not stop smiling.

Updated: 06/09/09 10:34 PM Log in to comment! | Share this!

The People Have Spoken

11 Comments

Jun. 10, 2009 | 1:46 AM CaptAcid says:

I thought this incarnation of your story was pretty good. Im a fan of the insane and morbid. Couple of notes on your general plot, keeping in mind of course this is just my critique and please, use it as you see fit. I will put a + to positive points and a - to negative points.

-Crazy people cant acknowledge they are crazy because then they wouldnt be crazy. There are several moments in the story when the narrator makes it clear he identifies with being a madman, which doesnt make sense. Most of the story you keep this zealous air around him, which is good. Stick with that.
+That leads into my positive point. I really enjoyed his descent into madness and the general plot as a whole. While some points in the story didnt quite get me all the way there, by the end, I was certainly feeling his insanity.
+I also like you never shared whether or not there was actually another island :)
-Which leads to the next point, how did he die? Did he die? His death seems very metaphysical which seems to suggest the island may actually be there. I think it might serve your story more to imply he died of more natural causes and leave the reader wondering.
+/-I liked his descriptons even though there was some awkward word choice
ex: "...group of elderly men from the village who think that their sheer age gives them the right to make law."
What is sheer age?
+Story was coherant, I understood what was going on and how events progressed.

These are only a few points, the major ones really. I hope you find them useful and if you have any questions on any particular point, feel free to send me a message. Good luck on your future stories!

Jun. 10, 2009 | 1:53 AM Luxury-Yacht responds:

Well, when he "acknowledges" that he's a madman, he's saying so contemptuously. He's mocking the people who call him mad, like sarcasm. I picture him saying it while rolling his eyes. He's not acknowledging his insanity, he's acknowledging that others see him that way. I'll try to make that clearer in the future.

As for the ending, I don't want to be explicit about his fate. I want it to be ambiguous for the reader and for them to make their own assumptions. The ending is open-ended on purpose.

Thanks for your time looking through my stuff, man.


Jun. 15, 2009 | 12:28 PM REDSPADES says:

Sounds like the ramblings of a cultist!

Nah That was a pretty detailed and interesting story, a little bit confusing though, the change from philosophical thought to reality needs some definition i think.

Jun. 15, 2009 | 12:30 PM Luxury-Yacht responds:

Yeah, I added the philosophical stuff last, and now I'm having second thoughts about them. They're too lucid, in my opinion, and make him relate to much with humanity. He seems attached all of a sudden. I'll have to revise that.


Jun. 16, 2009 | 5:20 PM mandamay says:

Yeah, you write well, but you sure can't intimidate a person.
Bud, my friend is amazing.
Your friend is a whore.
Deal with it and let her fight her own battles.
She started with Madii, so I stepped in to tell her to fuck off.
Don't get into something you know nothing about.
Learn to see the man inside the beast before you lunge with your knife.


Jun. 16, 2009 | 7:38 PM mandamay says:

See, that's the funny thing: you commented on JennaRose's page saying if we would have started with you, you would have picked us apart? So much for being civil and not involving yourself. Not to mention it's different to have girls stick up for each other but when a guy gets involved, it's a whole different matter. I have no clue why this is, but those of us who are of the female gender tend to do that, whereas men don't. It's just a but confusing and we get it into out brains that we have to defend and get into the drama. I just want her to leave Madii alone since Madii said nothing to the girl in the first place. And all that jazz.


Jun. 25, 2009 | 6:18 PM SupraAddict says:

Hi I china man, you build wall text good. How you like work at China?

Jun. 25, 2009 | 6:35 PM Luxury-Yacht responds:

I Rike it rear grood


Jul. 4, 2009 | 12:25 PM FlashtooREV says:

Crazy people don't know they're crazy, now do they?

Jul. 4, 2009 | 1:23 PM Luxury-Yacht responds:

Are you saying I'm crazy

Is that what you're insinuating


Jul. 29, 2009 | 3:30 AM FurryDemon says:

OMFG D00D YOUR SIGNATURE RAPED ME

Jul. 29, 2009 | 11:47 AM Luxury-Yacht responds:

Which part raped you?


Aug. 28, 2009 | 6:11 PM Twilight says:

-------This is an automatic message--------
If you receive this, Twilight is pissed at you for encouraging Gagsy's sicko tentadildo usage.


Sep. 28, 2009 | 1:39 AM jakenator85 says:

Why, did you favorite my Beta? I'm just wondering, what did you even like about it?


Oct. 18, 2009 | 7:31 PM 95688kage says:

Rog is possibly the coolest person alive for doing that.


Oct. 20, 2009 | 2:42 AM FurryOwlet says:

LETTER MAN

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